The First Step


” If you are wanting to conceive, I’d recommend trying again right away. A woman is considered very fertile the first 3 months after a miscarriage.” 

Those were the last words I heard from our doctor at the conclusion of my miscarriage. Words that were meant to inspire hope, and words that ring in my ears every month I see a negative test.

I was so frustrated. 

For the past few months I have slowly began to drive myself (and probably my husband) to a form of insanity. To show you how real this is, let me take you through a typical cycle with me. I’m talking about taking my temperature everyday, charting my cervical mucus, taking ovulation tests, buying sperm safe lubricant, taking folic acid pills, and even eating an insane amount of avocado. Why avocado? Because I’m one of those women who googles everything, and I read an article that said the popular fruit is linked to fertility. You can let out your breath now, I know it’s a lot to handle, but this is where the after math of my loss has taken me.

But not anymore.

Today, I am finally choosing to find peace. To rid myself of the anxiety, the heartbreak, and the chaos of what I let myself become. I choose to see the blessings all around me, to work hard at things I can control, and understand that there are things in life I can’t. I accept that my Heavenly Father is taking this time in my life to teach me about faith, patience, and gratitude. I know that his plan for me and our family is grander than anything I could ever imagine. I just want to feel like me again, and today I feel like I’m almost there.

In my devotional this morning, I came across a verse from Psalms 40:1-2 that read:

” I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock, and gave me a firm place to stand.”

I couldn’t help but let out a laugh. It was like God was sitting me down after a rough day to chat. Just a father and his child sipping tea as he leans over and says “You are right, today is the day you finally give this pain to me to endure, I love you, and it’s going to be okay.”

I’m ready to embark on the next journey of our life.

And today, I take that first step.


 

This song helped me through my darkest moments. No matter what obstacle you’re facing, this song can help change your thinking. 

 

the-new-you

Comments

  1. Tyler says:

    I really like reading your blog’s. A lot of woman go through fertility struggles, and find it hard to confide in other people, or don’t really know where to turn to for support; none the less find peace with it. I have had my fair share of struggles trying to get pregnant, my husband and I don’t have any kids and have given up for a while. I feel like at times God is punishing me for unknown reasons, and I seem to always be reflecting upon my life wondering what I’ve done wrong to deserve this. I’m still trying to cope with it, and everyday it seems to be getting a little easier. It’s very hard when people blurt out when are you having kids, or the slightest weight gain, and not drinking alcoholic beverages people are assuming you’re pregnant. I sometimes find myself at a loss for words in those situations, but smile and say maybe one day. You and Austin make great parents, and are doing a fantastic job of raising your daughter. I’m eager to follow you on your journey in life (I hope that doesn’t sound creepy lol). I know one day when the timing is right, you’ll find your self growing another tiny human and expanding your beautiful family. 🙂 Thanks again Katie for a great read, and being open with such a real struggle.

    1. raisingmyarrows says:

      Hi Tyler, Wow your words ring so true. Austin and I tried for almost a year before Berklee, and I know how real the frustration gets. It’s important to me that you know that you are not being punished, God’s timing is perfect, and in these situations I believe he’s teaching us patience. I’m so sorry for the struggle you are facing, and for the hurt you feel. We are in this together sister, it’s going to happen! I will keep your husband and you in our prayers! Sending lots of postive pregnancy dust your way!

      And no you did not sound creepy! I follow your life too! That’s one of the great things about networking and social media. It lets us come together as a community to talk about things that really matter. Thank you for reaching out to me, and for following along with my blog! Your encouragement means so much!

  2. Dani says:

    I don’t think you can ever realize how much people, including myself, look up to you. I can’t imagine what your life has been like these last few months, but I can say what you’ve written has helped me in my own personal struggles. Turning to God in times of struggle is a completely humbling experience and is not always easy. Thank you for sharing your faith and your light.

    1. raisingmyarrows says:

      Dani, thank you so much for those kind words! He is our strength when we are weary, that is for sure! I love following your life and pregnancy and I can’t wait to see your little baby! You look great! Thank you so much for reading and subscribing!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *